The opening line from the book.
"So I was stuck down a hole…sorry, I probably shouldn’t start like that…I was tomb robbing…I suppose that doesn’t make it much better really does it?"

Sio dealing with idiot bandits who tried to rob her...dickheads.

“Wow, that was different to what you expected wasn’t it?” I asked him. “You really weren’t very good you know, but then did you think you were just going to face a pathetic little girl? Oh dear…perhaps you shouldn’t judge people on sight? What a bummer, cos who’s pathetic now? Oh and what’s this here?” I took a small bag from his belt bag. “Hmm…jewellery, and some coins…have you robbed someone else on this road this morning?”
He grunted…that was all I was going to get out of him.

“Well it looks like you’ve been picking only the most vulnerable targets, little girls and elderly people, cos this is old jewellery, has some value though, so thank you very much for that, every little helps,” he squirmed trying to elbow me so I dug a second blade in his spine “Oh look at that, it thinks it can still win…I’m sorry but this is one fight you’ve already lost,” I let him go and stepped back, he came for me again so I casually tripped him up and then stood over him weaving a dagger in the air vaguely. “What do you look like?” I asked. “I mean it’s a nice costume, if you were looking for bondage bandit at a ladies’ night, precisely what is the armour supposed to do?” I pointed with the dagger. “Cos to me it looks like nothing but leather bikini wear…don’t get me wrong, I own some bikinis myself, I have been to known to wear them to the beach on holiday. But the difference is I’m a girl.” I pointed at myself with the dagger. “And I don’t wear them to rob people in, no, no, when I do that I do it in proper armour,” I smiled as that sunk in. “Oh yeah,” I said. “How do you feel now?” He didn’t answer so I carried on. “So seeing as your second friend is unconscious and your third friend has pissed off out of it…he seems the most intelligent of you three in my opinion, how about you skulk off and learn your craft…or give up, because you’ve done a wonderful job of showing how crap you really are,” I smiled, remounted my horse, a small amount richer, and nodded with my most annoying smile. “Have a nice day,” I said beaming brightly

 

How Sio thinks things through...

I was in luck though, as a man fitting the description Grane had given me was sitting down to a dreadful meal in a booth on one side of the room, time for me to…be me at him…I crafted one of my finest smiles and bounced over to him pulling a chair out opposite and sitting down with a plomp and a bright smile, he looked confused at me as I sat there. “Hi,” I said, as brightly as I could muster up.

He frowned at me, assessing me perhaps, wondering my purpose. “Hello,” he said, sounding careful about what he was saying. “How can I help you?”
“A little bird told me that you were looking for someone with skill to do a job for you,” I said, never letting that smile leave my face. “I was also told that you hadn’t found this person yet, so I thought I’d come and offer my services.”

He sat back looking at me more critically, I could tell that he was, it’s that look of calculation, I’ve used it myself a lot, working out what people can do and who’s likely to help me or try and kill me…It’s something I do often, when I meet someone I assess their smile, their actions, how enthusiastic they are, how genuine and whether they’re looking at me when they speak, or are they looking thoughtful and looking around, fiddling with something like they’re bored. This guy for example, when I’d sat down he’d looked confused and a little disturbed, now he was looking at my armour, my stance and possibly my confidence, assessing whether or not I might have the skills he needed, so now to use it to my advantage. “Like what you see?” I asked.

That threw him off balance as he shifted position awkwardly, I’d made him think about the fact he’d been caught out, he knew now that I’d noticed, hopefully that made him think I was observant and not stupid. “Well what I see,” he began. “Is a Syltare in armour brimming with confidence, but what I need requires something more refined and skilled, someone who can work things out and adapt.”

“I am a Syltare,” I said, pointing at myself. “We’re known for adapting…it’s kind of our best feature…that and our hair anyway,” I do love my hair, but really this was about appearing like I was a bit silly, first make him doubt me, then spring a surprise and make him realise that there was more to it…Which is why I’d already pickpocketed him while he was assessing me, when his attention was elsewhere.

“I have been informed,” he said, nodding just about perceptibly, this was good, meant he was interested in what I had to offer.

“How about you tell me what the job is and I’ll work out details,” I said, hoping to hear him tell me all.

He sat forward. “Young lady, I need to know more about you and what you’re capable of before I consider engaging your services.”

Now time to spring that surprise. “How’s this for a start?” I asked holding up his own coin purse and a metal disk with the symbol of his deity on it. “One coin purse, quite heavy I might say, few coins in it, aaaand,” I looked at the deity symbol. “The symbol of the goddess Enora, hmm, which means…either you’ve pinched this yourself and you’re posing as a paladin of Enora, or you are just one of her paladins,” paladins are warriors of a religious order, endowed with the skills of fighting and healing after years of following their respective deity…so having one turn up here well…that was a bit odd… but anyway I grinned at his face, he was stern, but impressed…looking good so far. “Though why a paladin of Enora is in Gallows Corner is beyond even my powers, this isn’t the place you find ‘nice’ people,” I smiled at him, what can I say? I’m a show off, it’s what we do… “You even knew the password,” I put a hand to my mouth in shock horror. “Does this mean that Enora is secretly tired of being good and fancies a spot of nasty work? Orrrr is there something that your order needs that requires a little dirty work, a squeak of under the table dealings in order for it to succeed?” I smiled brightly again. “I presume the latter, either that or you’re just here in disgrace,” I let that sink in for a moment, demonstrating;

- Intelligence.

-Being educated.

-A skilled rogue.

Check, all done, this was like an interview.

I could tell he was paying attention now as he simply held out his hand into which I placed the coin purse and the holy wotsit, then he rubbed his chin, another sign of thoughtfulness. “Well miss…”
“Sio.”

“Sio…it appears that you have piqued my interest”

“Good,” I replied. “That was the idea.”

“The job I have requires only the finest creative mind, and there is only one shot at getting it right, so please understand that I will only hire the person that has the best chance of completing the task.”

“I’d consider you stupid if you didn’t,” I said, I’ve often considered myself one of the best rogues around, I’ve worked bloody hard to be so. Jaskin had said that my creativity and ability to just…foof…away from places made me more difficult to stop than sunlight…he also added that if anyone could steal sunlight it’d be me…

This guy seemed to be considering something but he wasn’t giving it to me yet. “What I have planned will earn you enough to retire.”

“Depends on what kind of retirement you mean,” I replied. “Either in a small hovel, a house, a mansion, or six feet under, the last of which I’m not all that keen on, pathologically against in fact…so come on holypants, be specific.”

“If you succeed you could be paid fifteen thousand gold, how’s that?”

I paused, that would be enough to buy a goddamn estate! What was this all about? “Well,” I said carefully, even though my eyes had probably lit up a little I wasn’t going to lose this opportunity by being eager and overzealous, so it was just an internal dance for now, while out loud I said. “The fee must indicate the scale of the task I presume?”

“It does, but it also indicates the need for the task, the result of this will be vital to the future of the kingdom.”

“Which kingdom might that be?” It might sound like a silly question to you perhaps but there are a few on Tarkeld, twelve Dwarf kingdoms…though some, like the place I was in earlier, were kingdoms of a few measly streets and a number of holes in the ground, we Syltare don’t have kingdoms, nor do the Rogarin, they’ve got an Empire, the Elves have four or five I think under a high king or something, and the Humans…I don’t even know, at least seven and they keep rising and falling, greedy bastards.

“Kenfig,” he said.

I nodded, I knew of Kenfig, it’s a small Human kingdom bordering Syltare lands, I’ve raided around it a few times and done a spot of light highwayman-ing there, it’s got a few cities, number of castles etcetera, the usual with Human states. “So why is it so important to the future of Kenfig?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Perhaps further afield than just Kenfig, Tiesta, Chevelt,” he said. “Maybe even beyond Human lands. But understand that it is vital,” he sat back, which I knew meant that he was going to play caution, bugger. “Now, you have shown some skill, but this matter must go to the person most likely to succeed. I can see your talent but I need more,” as soon as he said it I knew where this was going, even before he added. “If I set you a separate task and you complete it to my satisfaction then I’ll engage your services,” he smiled. “You have intrigued me Miss Sio, you’ve got further than anyone else and I believe you have potential…fifteen thousand gold, yours for the taking, do this first task and then…if I’m happy…I’ll engage you for the proper job.”

For the prospect of fifteen thousand gold I wasn’t going to shy away from a bit of work, my family would never need to work again with that much gold. “Fine,” I said. “What’s this first task thing then?” I smiled.

“There’s a travelling caravan of four armoured knights and a cart heading between Sain and Trellech, they’re carrying a small box of gems, steal them and bring them to me untouched by morning and I’ll hire you,” he said.

I nodded slowly, I knew the road between Sain and Trellech, I’d worked in Sain as a waitress in what seemed like a different life ago, while Trellech was the nearest Human city just over the border. It was pretty close to where we were, I could be there in a few hours, so finding a slow cart on the road between the two cities should be easy, I thought that by doing this job I could find out what this was really about, I suspected that this wasn’t all there was to it…so a bit of private investigating on the route wouldn’t go amiss. “Will you be here?” I asked him.

“I’m running a few errands in the morning so if I am not here when you come back do not fear, I shan’t be long.”

I nodded at him. “Then I shall see you tomorrow, plus one bag of gems and a bright pretty Syltarian smile.”

“I look forward to it,” he said, in a monotone voice, so he probably didn’t believe me…but hey, underestimation is a great weapon you know, you wouldn’t believe how many jobs I’ve got done as a result of dressing differently and appearing as the sweet innocent Syltarian girl, no-one expects it, it’s just sooo easy sometimes, ahh.

Anyway I bid him goodbye and headed to my house across the city/chaos of wooden excuses for buildings. Things were looking…interesting…fifteen thousand gold had been dangled in front of my nose and then dragged away…the question I was facing was what could be so important that I needed to prove myself worthy? Was this actually a disguised gem robbery? Because if it was then you can be damn sure I was going to come out of this well off, because if there was no payment for stealing gems and no new job worth a ludicrous amount of money then he was going to get a bag full of semi-precious garnets freshly prised off cheap-ass Dwarf tombs, and I’d have the gems thank you very much. If it proved that those gems were another set of pretty pebbles then I would be well within my rights to take and sell his armour off his gently cooling body, because I’d already seen that was worth a pretty amount as it was. On the other hand this could be a real job that I had to prove myself capable of, which of course I would be, whatever it was. So whatever happened I was going to come out of this with some form of decent payment, first rule of thieves’ business, don’t do a deal on anything unless you have a sure fire way of getting something worthwhile out of it.

Sio and Cerys who she has just rescued meeting the Witch Doctor Jim

The camp is roped off to prevent every bugger pitching a tent where they pleased, which is a good idea in my opinion, don’t want the buggers moving out and filling up the market and stuff. The camp is managed by a weird human guy called Jim, he seems to live entirely on cigars and gin, is overweight and dresses like a ringmaster in a circus and somehow always looks grubby even though his hair, beard and amazing moustache are always clean, maybe he oozes gin and maintains a careful dishevelled look. He apparently lives in this large stripy tent at the entrance to the camp that seems to be filled with weird trinkets and stuff that he has a never-ending supply of. Apparently they’re magic but I wouldn’t buy anything off him, anything he sells has to be cursed...you’d probably be turned into some weird animal if you tried it, yes trust me on that one, you really do not want to know!

Thankfully for us arriving here at this hour Jim seems to spend all his time in his throne…yes throne…no idea where he got it from…maybe it was Cerys' dads for all I know, I wouldn’t put it past him stealing something like that, Jim is that kind of guy…it’s best not to ask…Anyway he’s always in it like a stuffed carpet, seems to sleep there randomly throughout the day and be bright and alert with a freshly lit cigar the moment you see him. “Heya Jim,” I said wandering up to him.

“Stone the crows if it ain’t the prettiest Syltare in all of Syltare,” oh yeah I’d forgotten about his accent, sounds like a posh farmer, like he charges for each “oo arr”.

“You’re right it ain’t,” I replied. “In fact it’s a reasonably pretty occasionally trustworthy Syltare and her latest colleague.”

Jim grinned at Cerys. “Alright,” he said with a wink. “Well Sio, I guess you be wantin a tent.”

“That is why we’re here,” I said.

“Well you knows ow it wurks, cash up front says what ting you wants and Oi tell you if I as any.”

“We want something decent size with a enough room to sit somewhere inside comfortably,” I said, I had the money and wanted something as comfortable as possible, it wasn’t home but I wanted something better than ‘just something you sleep in’.

“Arr right, sumfin flash eh? Yoo better be as’ing some cash there sneaker.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.”

“Jolly good then,” he held his hand out and I placed five gold, going rate per night of a big one, yeah…this guy makes a fortune for just renting tents.

“See that wun ther?”

He was pointing to a large round tent. “Yep.”

“That’ll do yoo?”

“Yep, thanks Jim.”

“No worries girls,” he said and puffed the cigar once again.

“He’s colourful,” said Cerys on the way to our tent.

“Yeah he really is,” one of the most colourful I’ve ever met, oh and there’s something else about him. “Don’t piss him off either.”

Cerys frowned. “Why not?”
“He’s a…kind of wizard.”

“A kind of wizard? What kind?”
“The kind that if you piss him off will turn you into things,” I looked at her. “He’s a witch doctor.”

“Holy crap,” she said.

“Yeah…if he offers you to go in his tent do so, it’s really weird the things he has there, just don’t take or touch anything.”

“Just when I thought it couldn’t get any weirder.”

Proof that Sio does have friends. 
 

I grinned. “He gets to ride home still wearing his armour and clothes probably…but that humiliation will leave more scars than a good hiding.”

Cerys shook her head. “That’s so stupid.”

“Yep,” I agreed. “But hey, I get to look good, and get paid for it too so I’m happy,” that was when a hand landed on my shoulder, I looked round. “Aeron!” I said putting my arms around him, I then saw his companion. “Hrolf!” I gave him a hug too. “Heya guys! It’s been an age.”
“It has Sio, how the devil are you?” Said Aeron, he’s a fellow Syltare who was part of Jaskin’s gang when I was there, I’ve always liked him…alright yeah we were a couple back then…but it didn’t work out...the only one of my exes I've stayed friends with, but it’s hard not to like him, he’s funny, and a great Ranger, you know scouty type…he also likes to sing…but sounds like a goose farting in a barrel…and the less said about his poetry the better.

“I’ve had some ups and downs,” I admitted…not going to reveal everything though, even to old friends.

“Same here to be honest,” said Hrolf, as his name might suggest he’s a thickly bearded Dwarf warrior, chain armour, all the time, as he says it keeps him fit and always with a smile in the beard. He’s solid and dependable, and a good storyteller, I never knew which ones were real and which ones were made up, but I used to sit by the campfire and listen to him tell a tale of someone or other and be quite happy. “Last score we robbed a silk merchant only to find out it was fake cheap rubbish,” said Hrolf.

“Yeah that pissed me off,” Aeron added. “We’d put a lot of work into that and got barely anything for it.”
Hrolf nodded. “I think we lost money having to hire a cart.”

“That’s nothing,” I said, and then pointed at Hrolf. “I went to an abandoned dwarf city last week in the edge of the Empty Zone, went to the tombs and guess what? The gems were all cheap garnets.”
Hrolf sighed shaking his head. “Burying the dead with only garnets, that’s really disgraceful to go to Jarlsvar with only crappy gems that’s dreadful.”

“I know right?” I asked. “And do you know what else I found?”

“Cave in?” Hrolf asked. “On the treasury?”

“Aside from that prick Vottun,” I said but didn’t get any further yet as they both moaned.

“Oh not him,” said Aeron. “Waste of space that one.”

“Right rucking weasel,” Hrolf confirmed. “I hope you saw to him.”
“Well I put him on his arse with a bleeding leg after he tried to first proposition me,” I pulled a face. “Eww…and then tried to rob me…never challenge me to a duel,” I said. “Just stupid